Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
