I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You took a bar mat shot.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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