i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
