Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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