he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
