He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Congratulations! We have a period
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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