so that wasnt chicken after all
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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