guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I am spending my child support on dildos
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
