Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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