Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My breasts were aching with rage.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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