Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
