I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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