You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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