What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
