ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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