I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
