Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
