I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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