i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
