It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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