Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize