is wine microwaveable?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
