Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
