I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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