I hate your face
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
