You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
