are you still at the devil's house?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
