So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
