I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
