nut hugger
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
