Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
