Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
