NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
