I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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