I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize