Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
