I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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