I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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