I am in a vortex of obligation.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
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he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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