we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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