DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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