God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
