so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
