Plan B is the new Plan A
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
