im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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