the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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