oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
