A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
