i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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