She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize