either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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