You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
