Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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