Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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